How to be an Optimist
Is it possible to transform yourself to be an optimist rather than a pessimist? According to experts, it is. Did you know that studies have shown that optimism is inheritable (25%), but also anyone can learn to be optimistic. Professional Matchmaker Linda Prescott reveals secrets on How to be an Optimist.
Retrain Your Brain
Okay, I know what you’re thinking, this is easier said than done. But if you seriously want to transform yourself to be an optimist, you need to make a conscious effort not only to shift your short term thinking, but also train your brain to think more positively in the long run. This has been proven by science to be possible. According to a research by Dr. Richard Davidson, the more we consciously reframe scenarios in a positive light, the more we train our brains to fire up circuits in different regions, eventually altering our response to negative experiences.
Try this: Build a positivity circuit. Three times a day, spend one minute looking around specifically for positives. Just positives. Over time, you will realise how your mind starts to see things more positively.
Stick with Positive People
If you are negative and always down, it might be a good time for you to look at what kind of company you have been keeping. Those gossipy friends, chronic complainers and negative people can really bring you down. Know why? Negativity is contagious. Fortunately, positive emotions can be contagious too. So instead of catching the negative vibe, why not catch yourself some positivity? Nicholas Christakis, an HMS professor of medical sociology and of medicine who has researched the contagion of emotions within the larger context of social networks, found that happiness may be a collective phenomenon: Having a happy spouse, or a friend or neighbour, who lives within a mile of you appears to increase the probability that you will be happy as well.
Try this: Every time you feel like catching up with someone, pick the ones you know are going to help you feel positive. If you find yourself in a situation where someone is complaining too much or being overly negative, there is nothing wrong with politely excusing yourself and saying you have somewhere else to be.
Acknowledge What You Can — and Cannot — Control
Guess what? We can’t control everything that happens and that’s because we are human. However, while some people are unaffected by uncertainty, others may be unable to deal with that. What you need to do is accept what you can and cannot control in the situation. For example, if you lose your job, you cannot control the fact that you were fired or laid off. What you can control, however, is what you do to find a new job as well as whether you take care of yourself in the process.
Try this: Practice mindfulness to help combat the tendency to ruminate over daily stressors, which is a breeding ground for negativity. Learn to be in the present space (while allowing other thoughts to enter your brain but then pushing them gently away) without judgement or thought about past or future, you will find that there’s less room for pessimism.
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Published at Sat, 05 Jun 2021 08:24:52 +0000
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Practical Ways to Rekindle a Relationship
Have you been wanting to rekindle a relationship? In an ideal world, all relationships would be smooth sailing. Even if there was no disagreement, some relationships just fizzle out because they have different priorities or neither party has put in the effort to maintain it. If there is a connection you wish to restart, Professional Matchmaker Linda Prescott shares some practical ways. Good luck!
Pretend you’re just getting to know them for the first time
Ever heard of the expression ‘once bitten, twice shy’? Well, if you are attempting to rekindle a relationship that fizzled out due to an argument or ill feelings, it’s best to start fresh. Try and reconnect with your friend or former partner as if you are meeting someone entirely new. And when it comes to new people after a bad experience, you are more cautious and also won’t throw all your eggs in the basket because you never know where this ‘new’ connection might take you. Being cautious keeps you from pouring yourself into a relationship that won’t work. But if you notice that the other person is making the right amount of effort, you might just be looking at a newly rekindled relationship.
Let them think about it
You know how some companies do cold-calling to gauge your interest? Well, with trying to rekindle a lost relationship, you’ll have to use the same strategy here. Instead of inviting the person out for lunch or dinner straightaway, you might want to start small. An email or a text is always a good way to start the spark. It’s also less pressuring. Because let’s be honest, you don’t know if the other person would like to reconnect or is ready to do so. If you get a positive answer to your email or text, that could be a sign that they are ready to meet up. Perhaps lunch can finally be on the cards again. Remember, if you really want to rekindle a relationship, don’t be pushy… just take it slow.
Drop the ego
They say, the biggest space between two people is… ego! Yes. If they have not called or texted you and you haven’t either, there is no way the relationship can rebuild. It takes one person to initiate again for this to work. So if you are sure you want to rekindle the relationship, it might be a good idea to make the first move. Put your ego aside and send that text or email. It doesn’t have to be something so serious. It can be maybe a funny meme you have seen online and you can say that it reminded you of them or a funny moment you both experienced. It can also be interesting events happening around you that you just know the other person would appreciate. Once you’ve made the first move, see what happens. If they respond, great. But if they don’t, don’t beat yourself up and it’s perhaps a sign that the relationship is not meant to be.
Also read: How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed.
Keep an open mind
You know, just because your relationship with them was solid and you knew them well, it doesn’t mean that they are still the same. If some time has gone by, this person might be a completely different one than the one you knew since you last spoke. And they might not be the only ones that have changed too. In fact, you both have grown and changed. This does not mean it’s bad. It just means that instead of rekindling a lost relationship, look at it as building a completely new one. Treat it as a new relationship and make sure you build a solid foundation before diving into the deep end. Whatever it is, look at this relationship with fresh eyes. Good luck!
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Published at Sat, 05 Jun 2021 08:03:17 +0000
Syndicated by Chat City Melbourne